We all have go-to sex positions. Depending on the mood, the energy, or the kind of connection you’re craving, there are almost infinite ways to get steamy in the bedroom. However, I might have just discovered one of the most intimate sex positions out there. If you’re looking for something that feels as hot as it does romantic, the lotus sex position is the one you’ve been looking for—trust me, it’s already a favorite of mine.
Whether you’ve been with your partner forever or you’re with a new partner you trust, the lotus invites both emotional and physical pleasure into the mix. It’s all about closeness: picture eye contact, chest-to-chest connection, and the kind of slow, synced rhythm that lets you feel… everything. Ahead, what the lotus sex position is, why it feels so good, and four ways to try it for yourself.
What is the lotus sex position?
The lotus sex position is a face-to-face, seated sex position designed specifically for deep physical and emotional connection. While it takes inspiration from the classic cross-legged yoga posture you might be imagining, this version centers intimacy and touch between partners. According to Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D., “this configuration leaves two face-to-face bodies pressed tightly together, which can be intimate, sweet, and sexy.”
It’s often described as a tantric sex position, where one partner sits in the other’s lap, legs wrapped around, creating a close, intentional embrace. In tantra, this pose represents the balance of masculine and feminine energies—known as Shiva and Shakti—but either partner can assume either role, regardless of their gender identity. Lotus is ideal for both penetrative and external stimulation, so any partner pairing can make it their own.
How to try the lotus sex position
Before trying any new position, take a moment to check in with your partner about what feels good emotionally and physically. Because the lotus is such a vulnerable position, a brief conversation about comfort levels and expectations can help build trust and deepen the connection. You can also set the scene with soft lighting, grounding breath work, or an intentional playlist to encourage relaxation.
Get in position
Have one partner sit comfortably on the bed or floor with their legs crossed or knees slightly bent. The other partner straddles their lap, facing them, and wraps their legs around their partner’s back or waist. You can use pillows or cushions for support under the hips or behind the back—whatever helps your body feel steady and comfortable.
Lean into the intimacy
Once you’re settled, lean in close. Let your foreheads rest together or hold eye contact if it feels natural. You can wrap your arms around each other or let your hands wander to your partner’s back, shoulders, or other erogenous zones. Take your time; the lotus is a position that’s meant to be slow, intentional, and connected. Sexologist, tantra educator, and author Barbara Carrellas, ACS, recommends incorporating “eye-gazing, in-sync breathing, and touching your foreheads together to increase the feeling of connection.”
Find your rhythm
Begin with gentle rocking or subtle grinding, and adjust the motion as needed to find what feels best for both of you. You might not even move much at all, and that’s totally OK. If you want to add more stimulation, you can bring in a toy, use your hands, or shift the angle slightly for deeper penetration or clitoral contact.
“Lotus creates a kind of closeness that’s hard to fake. While other positions like missionary or cowgirl might offer brief moments of eye contact, this one holds you in it.”
Benefits of the lotus sex position
1. It deepens intimacy
Lotus creates a kind of closeness that’s hard to fake. While other positions like missionary or cowgirl might offer brief moments of eye contact, this one holds you in it. Lotus prioritizes prolonged eye contact and full-body contact, making it ideal for steamy make-out sessions and watching your partner experience pleasure mid-act. This position is often ideal for longer, more sensual sessions rather than quickies, as the slower rhythm allows for emotional and physical build-up.
2. It frees your hands
One of the most underrated benefits of the lotus position is the freedom it affords your hands. Since most of your weight is supported by your hips and thighs, it allows your hands to explore. You can touch, hold, tease, or stimulate any part of your partner’s body without breaking the rhythm or closeness of the position. Use this freedom to stimulate other erogenous zones like the nipples, neck, and small of the back. You can also throw in your favorite vibrator or toy if you’re looking to take things to the next level. The upright posture naturally creates openness, making it easy to incorporate more stimulation without sacrificing any intimacy.
3. It’s an excellent option for anal exploration
You might think of doggy style as the go-to for anal sex, but the lotus position offers a more connected, communicative option. With both partners facing each other the whole time, it’s easy to use a penis or dildo for anal penetration while staying close and supported. In addition to discussing how things feel, you can also read your partner’s facial expressions to check in on their comfort, pace, and depth. That kind of real-time, full-body feedback can help build trust, reduce anxiety, and make the experience feel more intimate and safe.
4. It’s easy to customize
There’s no one right way to do the lotus. You can adjust the position to match your body, flexibility, or the type of connection you’re seeking. Try leaning back against a headboard, draping your arms around your partner’s shoulders, or bringing your bodies even closer for more skin-to-skin contact. You can focus on clitoral stimulation or experiment with a deeper stretch if it feels good. If you’re not into penetration at all, this position is also ideal for mutual masturbation, since both partners can stimulate themselves or each other while maintaining closeness.
5. It can easily be adapted
If you’re looking for a position that accommodates different body types and mobility levels, the lotus can do just that. Try using supportive props like cushions under the hips, back, or knees to get comfortable. Partners with limited flexibility can modify their leg positioning or try using elevated surfaces, such as a chair or the edge of a bed.
Lotus sex position variations to try
1. Reclined lotus
If you or your partner wants to achieve a slightly different penetration or clitoral sensation, add a bit more stretch by having one partner lean back slightly during intercourse or stimulation. The receiving partner can straddle their lap and stay upright or follow their lead and lean back as well. This change in the position creates more room for movement, takes pressure off the lower back, and deepens penetration.
2. Straight-legged lotus
Rather than wrapping themselves fully around each other, one or both partners can keep their legs straight or slightly bent. In this position, the seated partner should lean against a wall or headboard to support the thrusting motion.
3. Chair lotus
To try this variation, the giving partner sits in a chair, either cross-legged or with feet firmly on the ground. The receiving partner then sits on their lap facing them, but with their legs hanging down toward the floor. This position is ideal for partners who crave more movement in the lotus position.
Sydney Cox, Contributing Sex & Relationships Writer
Sydney Cox is a Chicago-based writer and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about exploring the complexities of human connections and teaching readers to advocate for themselves. Sydney’s work has been featured in various publications, where they aim to foster open and honest conversations.
The post This Sex Position Prioritizes Deeper, More Intimiate Pleasure—Here Are 4 Ways to Try It appeared first on The Everygirl.
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